Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Coming Clean!

This post is tough to write.

As you now know, I recently stepped back from blogging and social networking to take some time to focus on those near and dear to me. Upon my little blog-cation, I did a lot of thinking, LOTS. Tons of reflection, about myself, my path in life, my diet lifestyle, the weight I still have to lose, my mommying skills, the events (and blog posts!) of these past few months ..

I came to the conclusion that I'd come off a high from my many wonderful ambassadorships, and was now just coasting. Struggling to keep current with everyone else's workouts and activity and trying to be a "good" ambassador .. And I wasn't doing it to make myself happy. I enjoyed my activities, sure .. But I didn't love forcing myself to do them in order to keep up with what was popular.

And that got me to thinking about my blog. This blog began as Mama Lego's Happy Place. It was where I would go to talk about my family, my weight loss ups and downs, my weight watchers meetings, different healthy recipes Daddy Lego and I put together .. And then I chose to switch the blog up to focus on the healthy and active parts of my life. It was great because I was motivating myself to keep up and getting lots of positive feedback .. Yet I wasn't 100% happy because I felt like I wasn't 100% open about my struggles. I was being Ambassador Laura - but I wasn't being ME.

Yup, I did an hour of yoga .. And then kicked back with a slice of pizza.

Walked to work every day! .. And picked up Tim Hortons on my way in. Or a subway cookie. Or two.

Promised myself I'd go for a run that night .. But ended up cuddling up with a good book instead.

I wasn't "bad" all the time. I was great the majority of the time, and I promise, I never lied about any workouts, activites or foods. But I also wasn't honest about the realistic parts of them - because I was trying so hard to keep up with this perfect ambassador image that wasn't totally me.

I was showcasing the highlights of the active and healthy lifestyle, but I was hiding the REAL parts of my journey.

And so .. I give you ..

The truth.

I adore running. I crave it. Do I want to run every day? Absolutely. But I would also miss a run to lounge on the couch and play Xbox with the hubs.
Gamer love!
My walks to work are incredible. With my busy schedule, it's the only time in my day where I could just blast my music and shut out the world. But .. I also love being able to leave home a little later and grab a bus to work, just so I could get 15 more minutes in with Team Lego.
Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my family :)
Give me a spinach salad with a fresh cooked chicken breast, chopped avocado, sliced hard boiled egg, chopped walnuts, and more veggies than you could name in ten seconds, and I'll be a happy camper. Tell me I have to make it and have it cut into my nap time? Give me a bowl o' KD and I'm just as happy as said camper. But with s'mores :)
(sidenote: yes, I still nap. I need to nap daily since I work the midnight shift every night and am up at the crack of dawn with the kiddies!).

After one of those days where the Lego Kids juuuust won't cooperate, I missed my nap, Daddy Lego is running late and I have an overtime shift ahead of me during busy season? Screw making a beautiful light turkey taco dinner with homemade guac, chopped tomatoes and black beans. Get me my local Pizza Pizza.

And yeah. I love me some water. Throw some lemon into it and I'm happier than a pig in poop. Give me some coffee or diet coke? I'm your slave for a day.
Be still, my heart.
There. I said it. I have a caffeine addiction! I know it's not good for me but I'll admit, there are some days that I just don't care to fight it. Give me a coffee and talk it out with me ;)

Y'know, writing this all out really helped me feel better. I wanted to be able to blog as ME again. Little ol' (round!) Mama Lego who is learning how to drop weight and keep it off, exercise properly and have fun doing it, balance out mommying-working-housewifing-blogging-careerdeciding (it's a word cuz I made it up!) and being honest, real and happy while doing it.

I am so happy and proud to be an ambassador. But an ambassador is not all I am. I've got many (many!) layers (and not just chub, ha!).

And I'm excited to be getting back to me.

I'm thinking about going back to Mama Lego's Happy Place ... Thoughts? :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

Where Have I Been?!

Had to show off my favorite Christmas gift from Team Lego!! ... Though sadly, it broke about three weeks later. Not gonna lie, I totally cried.

Hi Everyone!!

Wow, it's been a while!! I've missed writing and I've REALLY missed interacting with you all! How are you?!

I'm so sorry I've been away for such a long time. So much has happened since I last posted and I needed to take a step back from the "extras" in my life to focus on my life's "staples." To recap ..

My amazing father, who means so very much to me, was hospitalized with congestive heart failure. His heart had been under duress for 3 weeks (nobody knew. The doctors had no clue.) before he was rushed to the hospital by ambulance, and we are SO very lucky he made it there. His cardiologist told us that he was surprised Dad's heart hadn't given out on him. Dad spent five days in ICU and another few days in general care. He has a long road to recovery and a lot of lifestyle adjustments to make in order to enjoy a full, long life with us. It's been a very scary, eye-opening experience for us all. I'm so, SO grateful that Dad is okay :)

Horrible picture .. But that's how we were feeling. The flu sucks.

And then ..

The holidays! Who has time for anything when we have baking, wrapping, volunteering, overtime and visiting to cram into a very busy holiday season?! Plus the season's illnesses came through our house, I had a horrible flu and the kids were sick ..

And then ..

My husband and I were both on overtime every single day for weeks and weeks on end .. It was a very difficult and hectic period to get through. We never saw each other and barely had time for ourselves. But we kept strong, supported each other on the sidelines (thank goodness for video calling!) and got through it.

Sadly ..

Daddy Lego had to put his dog, Angel, to rest. She was 12 years old and very sick. Though she lived at my in-laws' house (because of my allergies and Boy Lego's), she was still very much my husband's puppy, and it crushed him to have to say goodbye. She now truly is our Angel :)
Daddy Lego and his pup.
 But all is good now. At first, I'd stressed about my lack of social networking, and that was adding to the hardship of what we were going through, so I came to realize that family was the most important thing for me to focus on. This is why I took a break from blogging, my FB page and twitter. And while family will always be my number one, blogging and connecting with you is still important to me, and so I'm learning how to find the right balance for all I love in life. I'm back! I may not blog as much as before, but I will write! :) Balance is key.

My emotional eating came into play BIG time over the past couple of months. I'm not mad at myself - when times were tough, it felt easier to fall back on old habits, and with what we were going through, it was understandable. Do I wish I had stayed strong enough to stick to my healthy choices? Absolutely. But with every day, a lesson is learned. I'm proud to say that even though I wasn't the greatest at keeping up with a healthy, active lifestyle, the lessons I'd learned along my weight loss journey really helped me during our rough couple of months, and helped to keep my emotional eating within reasonable limits. I didn't fully fall off the wagon because I knew how far I'd come and that I didn't want to go back. I also knew that binge eating could cause big time long-term damages. And with my dad's heart scare, it really opened my eyes to why a healthy lifestyle is SO important. We must eat healthy, exercise, and get enough rest every day in order to live long, happy lives, out of the hospital!

In other news ..

My goal of becoming a dietician is in sights and I now have a path to follow in order to get myself there. I'm so very excited! But I'll save that for a later post.

I hope you guys all had a wonderful holiday season. Did anyone make a New Years resolution?

Chat soon!

Mama Lego :)