Saturday, November 3, 2012

Are You Hard On Yourself?

I've been horribly sick this week, as you all probably know from my whining.
My "sick Mama" essentials.
I don't get sick often, but when I do, it's usually pretty bad. This time around was no exception. Fevers, congestion, lack of breathing due to the combo of chest cold and asthma, severe headaches, no energy ..

And you know what? I handled it poorly. I was miserable. I sat around feeling sorry for myself. I gave myself trouble for not being able to make it into work. I stressed about the financial implications of my missing those two days of work. I became angry and frustrated with myself because I was unable to keep after the housework, and seeing it pile up was unacceptable to me. I felt like a bad mom for needing my kids to entertain themselves and a bad wife for not being able to have those hot meals ready for when hubby came home after a long, hard day at work - and then for making him do the dishes (he didn't care at all - but I did). I wasn't making the best food choices and my exercise had to be put aside for the time being .. I was so down on myself.

As I was talking to Daddy Lego last night (through the delirium of yet another fever), he made me realize something: unless I'd been bitten by a zombie during the day and was slowly transitioning into a Walker (I've been watching too much Walking Dead!), then I'm HUMAN.

Huh. I'm human. Who'd have thunk?

If my husband had been the one so sick, I'd have expected him to take time off work to recover. I'd have wanted him to take a break from his household responsibilities and rest. I'd have told him that the kids would be great if they entertained themselves for a day or two - they play so well together anyhow that they would never miss him! And I'd tell him not to beat himself up about his eating and fitness - that once he was feeling better, he'd get back on track in no time and his strength and determination would be stronger than ever.

So why was it so easy for me to say those things to Daddy Lego (or anyone else in that position) but not to myself?

Turns out I'm pretty hard on myself. And I'll bet I'm not the only one out there who is unrealistically tough on myself (or ourselves).

Maybe something for me (us?) to work on!

My healthy lifestyle journey isn't just about healthy eating and exercising - it's also about keeping a positive outlook in life throughout any situation. I wasn't being very positive this week. And y'know what, that's okay. Remember how I learned about being human? Apparently, humans make mistakes. True story! And as long as we learn from the mistakes we make, we're only bettering ourselves!

So, lesson learned. I'm going to go a little easier on myself and accept the fact that I need to rest and take it easy while my body works on getting rid of this virus. As long as it doesn't become a fire hazard, then the housework can wait, my kids will be great, my husband will still love me if he has to make dinner. And he'll do it with a smile because he wants to see me get better and is happy to help.

Life will return to its regular scheduled programming once I'm better.

Are you super hard on yourself too? Here's one thing you can try: fill in a permission slip for yourself. Give yourself permission to do that one thing you give yourself trouble for. Here's mine: 
And another example:
I'm sure he gives himself tons of trouble over all the cookies he eats!
I'm going to remember to write out a permission slip for something when I'm giving myself a hard time. Then, in order to keep in control of myself and my situation, I will make a promise to myself:

Atta boy, Santa!!
It's all about our journey and the lessons we learn along the way. We learn that sliced apples with peanut butter is a more nutritious snack over chips and cookies, going for a long walk is better than couch-potato'ing, and that being nice to ourselves does a lot for our well-being. One day, one lesson, at a time :)

PS. I'm still sick - but feeling a LOT better because of my new positive outlook. Even if I can't breathe. (ha!)


  1. Oh now feel better soon. I have a cold too :( There has been a lot of colds going around in the last month.

    And I am sure you know by reading my blog that I can be super hard on myself too! I am still trying to figure out why I do that to myself because it just causes me more stress which I do not need.. Good for you for giving yourself a permission slip and you will get back on track once you are fully recover. Get well soon!

    1. Why are we always so hard on ourselves?! gah.
      I hope you feel better soon! It took me five days to feel human again. I'm still stuffy and all that but I can take it!

  2. I hope your feeling better, sweetie!

    I'm always way too hard on myself, it's just our nature! But we must learn to be nicer to ourselves and I love all of the notes from above!